The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 408
Searching, clicking, swiping and tapping, we're busy looking high and low for classics, new finds and plenty of the in-between to create another totally magical playlist that will take all our troubles away with just a click of a play button.
SATURDAY 12th December
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) ITV2 11:25am-1:15pm
Daffy Duck tires of playing second fiddle to Bugs Bunny, so sets off to seek his fortune. He ends up helping a would-be stuntman rescue his screen idol father, in reality, a secret agent, who has been kidnapped by the deranged chairman of the Acme Corporation. Live-action and animated comedy, with Brendan Fraser, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton and Jenna Elfman.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004) Channel 5 11:25am-2:05pm
A married couple from Chicago decide to steer clear of the usual festive celebrations and keep their cash for a holiday in the sun, prompting a busybody neighbour to call on the local community to pull out all the stops to make them change their minds. A festive comedy based on a novel by John Grisham, starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Tim Allen, Dan Aykroyd and M Emmet Walsh.
Small-town delivery boy Gilbert is forced to act as head of his unusual household, which includes his obese mother and a younger brother with learning difficulties. However, the arrival of an attractive caravan traveller leads him to consider putting his own happiness first for a change. Drama, starring Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Juliette Lewis, Mary Steenburgen and John C Reilly.
The BFG (2016) BBC One 2:45pm-4:30pm
An orphaned girl befriends a benevolent giant, who takes her off to a magical land, where they attempt to stop the man-eating creatures that are invading the human world. Steven Spielberg's fantasy adventure based on Roald Dahl's book, starring Mark Rylance, Ruby Barnhill and Penelope Wilton.
Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV 2:45pm-5:00pm
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.
Field of Dreams (1989) Sony Movies 4:00pm-6:10pm
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield - which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose - to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.
Ghostbusters (2016) Film4 6:15pm-9:00pm
When a series of supernatural disturbances occurs in New York City, two experts in the paranormal investigate, joined by a brilliant inventor who has created an array of ghost-hunting gadgets and a public transport worker whose knowledge of the city provides vital clues to the sinister cause of the ghostly activity. Reboot of the 1980s comedy franchise, starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones and Chris Hemsworth.
The Untouchables (1987) BBC Two 9:00pm-10:55pm
Incorruptible federal agent Eliot Ness is assigned the task of fighting organised crime in Prohibition-era Chicago and bringing the notorious crime boss Al Capone to justice. Aware crooked police are undermining his investigations, he puts together his own elite squad to take on the Mob. Brian De Palma's crime thriller, with Kevin Costner, Robert De Niro, Andy Garcia and Sean Connery, who won an Oscar for his performance.
Deadpool (2016) Film4 9:00pm-11:10pm
A fast-talking former mercenary develops terminal cancer and agrees to be the subject in a shady experiment in the hope of a cure. The procedure leaves him horribly disfigured, but also possessing superhuman abilities which he immediately puts to use in a quest for revenge on the man responsible for his hideous appearance. Superhero comedy adventure, starring Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin.
Snatch (2000) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:10pm
An unlicensed boxing promoter and his dim-witted sidekick convince an Irish gypsy to step in for their injured fighter, but find themselves drawn into a match-fixing racket. Meanwhile, the loot from a diamond heist goes missing, leading to a bloody conflict between Russian gangsters and a Jewish mob. Guy Ritchie's comedy-drama, with Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Benicio Del Toro and Stephen Graham.
Die Another Day (2002) ITV4 9:15pm-11:55pm
James Bond is suspended from duty after being taken hostage in North Korea, but goes against orders to track down those who betrayed him. During the pursuit of the terrorist he was investigating before his capture, he discovers a connection with a British billionaire who has constructed a devastating orbital weapon. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Judi Dench and John Cleese.
Cape Fear (1991) Channel 5 10:40pm-1:15am
A psychopathic rapist is released from prison after 14 years and plots revenge on the defence attorney he blames for his imprisonment. Subjecting the lawyer and his family to a terrifying campaign of intimidation, he uses his knowledge of the law to stay untouchable. Martin Scorsese's thriller remake, starring Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange and Juliette Lewis, with cameo appearances by Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum and Martin Balsam, who all appeared in the 1962 original.
SUNDAY 13th December
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) Channel 4 1:55pm-4:00pm
Three orphans are entrusted into the care of their sinister uncle, a master of disguise who intends to kill them for the family fortune. Quickly realising he is up to no good, the children flee, moving from one prospective guardian to the next - but their wily relative is never far behind. Comedy adventure based on the children's books, starring Jim Carrey, Meryl Streep, Jude Law, Liam Aitken and Emily Browning, with Kara and Shelby Hoffman.
Arachnophobia (1990) Sony Movies 2:45pm-4:55pm
A mild-mannered doctor sets up practice in a small town, but a cloud gathers over his career due to a series of unexplained deaths. Before long, he has to convince the locals that a horde of venomous spiders is responsible and confront his intense fear of arachnids into the bargain. Comedy horror, starring Jeff Daniels, John Goodman, Julian Sands and Brian McNamara.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016) Film4 3:00pm-5:10pm
The sewer-dwelling heroes discover their arch enemy Shredder has returned from another dimension and made a deal with an alien warlord. Assisted by two mutant henchmen, Shredder goes in search of a lost device that will allow his new ally to mount an invasion of Earth. The action-adventure sequel, starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett and Stephen Amell.
Shrek (2001) ITV 3:10pm-4:55pm
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) Sony Movies 4:55pm-6:45pm
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveller is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.
Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:00pm-6:45pm
A lawyer whose underhand ploys to win cases leaves him little time to see his son discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy's birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.
The Net (1995) Sony Movies 6:45pm-9:00pm
A shy computer analyst discovers evidence of a criminal conspiracy, so the villains decide to retaliate. Erasing her personal details from the national database, they replace them with a false police record, hurling her into a desperate race against time to prove her real identity before corrupt officials silence her for good. Thriller, starring Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam and Dennis Miller.
Armageddon (1998) Sony Movies 9:00pm-12:05am
Nasa discovers an asteroid the size of Texas is on a collision course with Earth, so a drilling expert is recruited to train a team of misfits to transport a nuclear device into outer space to destroy it - but having had no experience of space travel, the reluctant astronauts find themselves seriously out of their depth. Sci-fi thriller, with Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Michael Clarke Duncan, Billy Bob Thornton and Steve Buscemi.
The Godfather (1972) BBC Two 10:10pm-1:00am
The patriarch of the Corleone crime family is hospitalised after an attempt on his life and entrusts control of his business to his three sons - the violent and unpredictable Sonny, the weak-willed Fredo, and Michael, the youngest brother, who reluctantly takes up the reins but proves to be the most ruthless of them all. Francis Ford Coppola's gangster drama, starring Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, John Cazale, Talia Shire, Robert Duvall and Diane Keaton.
Whatever you're up to this weekend, that thing you've been saving for a while... go for it. What are you waiting for?